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3.29.2014

LORD, I BELIEVE.

WARNING: This video will make you sob...if you have a child who suffers from seizures...this is THE MOST POWERFUL and COMFORTING video you will ever watch. ...this is our families story, just as it is other families story. We have felt EVERY SINGLE WORD in this video. And if you do not have a child who suffers from seizures...watch this video anyway...it is AMAZING!

(if you can, click the video so you can see the WHOLE screen...it's much better that way!)

Here is the link for mobile devices and tablets: 
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng

Cole went from having 150+ seizures a day to none after surgery. They weren't ever sure that the surgery would worked because he had generalized epilepsy & Infantile Spasms which are CATASTROPHIC & VERY VERY hard to stop...but we HAD FAITH.  We PRAYED MANY MANY times a day-many times an hour- & many times a minute, while watching Cole seize 100's of times a day. I was NEVER EVER mad at the Lord for that...but yes, I was sad, I was unsure of the future but I never gave up pleading with the Lord to STOP these seizures. I CAN NOT deny the POWER of PRAYER & the POWER of the Savior. HE IS OUR HEALER...and he led us to doctors to help us stop Cole's seizures. In my darkest and most hopeless hours, I can say...the Lord NEVER LEFT MY SIDE. I have felt him through the people or strangers around me...telling me they love me or that they are sorry. I have felt him through the quiet and calming moments of being by my self or by a prompting telling me to take Cole to the Cleveland Clinic 3 years ago...and that SAME prompting to tell me to call and schedule an apt the next morning...my thoughts were, "what, you want me to schedule an appointment in 2 weeks? ...but that hospital is on the other side of the country...and we have no money to get there!". The prompting came again, "You WILL get there".

 We got donation after donation from complete strangers, family & friends.  In less then 1 week we had enough money, which was amazing because the only tickets we could get for all 3 of us were $2,400 total. I KNOW WITH OUT A DOUBT the Lord was with us & held our hand EVERY. STEP. OF. THE. WAY. I realize that the healing has not come to other families & may not in this life. I do not know why. But, don't ever loose faith. Cole has been healed from his epilepsy (right now anyways, we do know it can strike at anytime, especially during puberty) but his mental handicaps have not been healed. For reasons, I do not know why...but I continue to have faith & TRUST IN THE LORD.  He continues to give me promptings on how to care for Cole & comforting me by sending a friend or family member over on hard days. People have shown up on my door step randomly or send me a message on FB.  My neighbor dropped 8 packs of pull ups off at my house for Cole the other day!!! They might seem like simple things, but to me, I know the Lord sent them.

This PROMISE below helps me to remember the "GRAND SCHEME" of things. This journey is not easy on Cole or us, but I know that Cole is SO SPECIAL & PERFECT.

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