Well you've noticed I haven't posted anything in a while...if you are wondering why...let me just "paint" you a mental picture...
Cole's crib has ALWAYS been his place of "comfort". He LOVES his crib and is the ONLY place where he calms down...otherwise he is a MANIAC. That's putting "nicely". Well, last week he climbed out of his crib for the *FIRST TIME EVER*. We thought it was so funny & so cute! Fast forward the next day...he is having one of his RAGE attacks...POUNDING his head on EVERYTHING, the floor, furniture, walls etc...so I picked him up & took him to his room as he throws his body, head butts my face & rips my hair out (like he normally does). I put him in his crib, close the door & hear him pounding his head AS HARD AS HE CAN on the wall!!! There was nothing I could do. I can only hold him down for so long because he is SO STRONG. Anyways, fast forward again to today...and he's been a "crazy person" for the last week...ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
The only thing that calms him down is a bath. He's been taking LOTS of them. I'm sure our water/gas bill is through the roof...but we are hanging on by a thread & I just cry. (partly because of prego hormones...and partly because I just don't know what to do).
I tell ya what....this journey went from Epilepsy, Infantile Spasms to learning disabilities, to Autism, Persuasive Developmental Disorder, Behavioral & Anxiety Disorders & Mental Health Issues. Most of these are because of the Infantile Spasms....and Cole seems to have gotten the worst of everything :( I feel inadequate as his mom...I should say parents because I know my husband feels the same way. I go through these emotions of anger, frustration & sadness all at once because I JUST DON'T know what to do for him...I don't know how to keep my own child happy or how to help him. The "local neuro" suggested 6 months ago that we put him on medication for schizophrenia. I researched it, and found that this drug is infamous for causing a Movement Disorder...which means that his brain and his body would stop making the "connection" to move his limbs etc. AND a lot of the time...it's PERMANENT...meaning if he STOPS the drug...it will still be there. So we are looking into other avenues like the GAPS diet.
On a good note...he was relatively good today, mostly because I let him play in the car for 3 hours...yes, I am responsible mom & I'm watching him...but for some reason he didn't want to get out so I let him hang out in there and it's been 3 hours of HAPPY BLISS!!! It's become apparent that we are loosing our minds & have been PUSHED to the MAX...so I'm sure because of the prayers of those around us...the Lord gave us a good day today.