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I'll I have to say is WOW!!!!  My heart is SO full right now.  ...let me start off by saying how emotional I've been this last week...I don't think it helps that Cole has been in constant RAGE...I'm not sure how I thought it couldn't get worse, but apparently it can & it has.  I feel helpless because nothing is helping his rage right now.  Lately I've felt alone & frustrated.  There seems to be a pattern every morning, by 7:20am I have been telling the Lord that "I just don't think I can do it today", as Cole is scratching every exposed part of my skin off, pulling my hair out and throwing his food all over me, him and the floor...then I've got to struggle to change his diaper as he is kicking me and banging his head on the floor...then I realized I'm about to be late for work.  This is how our mornings go, and by 7:45am I'm crying as I drive to work & praying for the Lord to help me.  He always answers my prayers, because I always seem to make it through the day.  Today, I truly felt the Lord answer my prayers...we have met some pretty awesome people in Cleveland from our church and today we got the sweetest card with notes from MANY people who we've never met before with SO many kind & caring words.  They had a yard sale & donated the proceeds to Cole!  Yes, the "ugly cry" came out...and I was SO touched by the love of these women who said they are praying for us & think about us.  It was JUST what I needed.  I can feel the love of my Saviors arms around me & my family.  Not that that wasn't enough, but as I was typing this of our ward members  (who is  an amazing guy & his mom is wonderful!)  dropped off a sweet card & also helped us out with our trip!  The experiences that our family has had this last 1 1/2 years has been overwhelming.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. when I tell the Lord "I just don't think I can do it today"....he prompts these amazing & selfless people to come to our rescue, to let us know he is STILL THERE, he KNOWS what we are going through & he WILL lighten our burdens.  Thank You to each of you for your love & support towards our family. 

 I did get a picture of Cole being nice this weekend, he's giving his puppy a "kiss".

1 comment:

  1. Ok I have been following your blog for almost a year now and I keep meaning to comment but I always don't quite know what to say! I am just in AWE at how incredible you are. You have been put through so much and this post just literally made me bawl out loud. It was just a confrimation that god IS REAL and knows what is happening in each and everyone of our lives. I am 24 and all my friends are married and I have this fear that I am going to be single for the rest of my life. It scares me to death. There are some days I literally just bawl because I feel like I am never going to get to raise my own family. But man i have no room to ever complain, just looking at other people situations, I should never complain, especially yours!!. I love kids so much and I love reading about Cole. I worked at primary children's in the OR for a couple years and I am going to school to be an Occupational therapist and specializing in pediatrics, so as you can tell I love kids an I love reading about sweet little cole! You are a very very strong person and you have inspired a lot of people i am sure! You are in my prayers and I am a HUGE fan of you guys!