CONTACT ME:

If you would like to contact me, leave a comment at the bottom of the last post. I moderate all comments before they are posted, so if it has your email I won't publish it.
..........................................................................................
ALL PHOTOS ARE SUBJECT TO COPY RIGHT. DO NOT "PIN", SAVE, OR USE ANY PHOTOS WITH OUT PERMISSION, THANK YOU!

3.07.2011

LOOKING BACK.

Cole (Newborn)

Cole at 8 months (2 months before his seizures).
Looking at pictures of Cole before having seizures is a weird obsession of mine.  I find my self watching videos of him or flipping through his baby book once a month.  I don't know why I do it to my self, because it makes my heart break.  I look at them and want to remember the milestones he made.  I have this video of him waving at 7 months, and I watch it over and over and over.  And as I watch it I am smiling ear to ear.  Once it's over I feel sick, I didn't know at the time how heart breaking and happy it would make me feel 2 years down the road or knowing that it was the last time I would catch a glimpse of him waving to me.  I wonder how he might have been or what his voice would sound like.  Had I known this would have happened, I would have taken more videos of him.  Instead of trying to get him to sleep through the night, I probably would have held him a little longer.  He was such a happy and easy going baby, I almost feel like I lost a baby I've never lost.   "A" hasn't looked at a photo or video of him before having seizures, it's too hard for him & I don't blame him.  Now that I know it was inevitable because of the malformation, I am SO grateful to the Lord for letting me have those first 10 months of peace and bliss.  I know the Lord is all powerful and he can work miracles.  I pray that Cole will be one of his miracles. 

No comments:

Post a Comment