It's been a bit of a hard week this past week. I knew Cole's evaluation for his developement (through the Early Intervention Program) was coming up. Looking back 8 months ago (when his seizures started) I knew he hadn't made a TON of progress as far as his "developement"...except for walking (which we are still super proud of him for!!) Things that Cole has learned have come & gone (ie. signlanguage, pointing, waving, saying "mama" or "dada", picking up food etc.) It's hard looking back & watching videos of him at 7 Months Old waving to me or babaling "mama" and I so BADLY want to know that little guy again. Yes, he is still the same SWEET, LOVING, HAPPY baby...but in ALL REALITY he's VERY different. That 7 Month Old Baby is just a memory to me that I will keep close FOREVER...
I am having a HARD TIME (though I keep a good "frount" on & I look like I've got it together at work, church, etc.) coming to terms that he may never "catch up" & he may always "struggle". But, miracles do happen. They happen all the time. (Don't get me wrong...I LOVE this little boy more then I could ever imagine or express either way & I think that's why this is so hard for me to deal with) I've gone through ALL the stages of HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!! TO WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??? TO I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!?!...ECT...ECT. I've accepted the seizures (though it still seems like a foggy dream that I am in & I am lucky I know what day it is).
Now, I need to accept the fact that he is VERY behind in his developement & he may not be able to ever do things other kids will/can do. I talked to his Physical Thereapist...He dosn't have Autisim...but, he DOES have AUTISTIC characteristics & SEIZURES. Obiously we don't know if he will ever come out of either of them...but, we can HOPE & PRAY. I know Cole's "miracle" will happen...I just need to remember that it may not come in this life. I KNOW with out a doubt that HE WILL be made Perfect.
So, with that said...I would love to hear from ANYONE & EVERYONE...how to cope...either an experience you have had, someone you know has had or just advice.
HERE ARE THE RESULTS ON HIS DEVELOPEMENT:
(HE IS CURRENTLY 18 MONTHS OLD)
-SENSORY ORGANIZATION: NO CONCERNS
-THINKING & LEARNING/COGNITIVE: SEVERE (8-10 MONTH RANGE)
-RECEPTIVE LANGUAGE/COMMUNICATION: SEVERE (8-10 MONTH RANGE)
-EXPRESSIVE LANUAGE/COMMUNICATION: SEVERE (9-11 MONTH RANGE)
-GROSS MOTOR: MODERATE (12-14 MONTH RANGE)
-FINE MOTOR: MODERATE (12-14 MONTH RANGE) *has regressed since eval & is severe
-SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL: SEVERE (11-13 MONTH RANGE)
-SELF HELP: MODERATE (12-14 MONTH RANGE) *has regressed since eval & is severe
*ALL AREA'S ARE NOW SEVERE EXCEPT GROSS MOTOR*